So, I'm at PetSmart buying a bag of dog food. This woman has her adorable puppy in a basket.
She points to my bag of dog food and asks if I have a dog.
On impulse, I tell her, “No, I do not have a dog. I'm starting the dog food diet.
“I probably shouldn't because last time I ended up in the hospital. I lost 50 pounds, but I woke up in Intensive Care hooked up to a bunch of tubes and IV’s.”
“Wow!” she says. “And you’re doing it AGAIN?”
“Well, it’s essentially a perfect diet,” I reply.
“All you do is load your pockets with food nuggets and simply eat a few every time you feel hungry.”
"The food is nutritionally complete, so it works well, and I thought I would try it again.”
Horrified, she asks if I ended up in ICU because the dog food poisoned me.
"No,” I say. “I got hit by a car when I ran across the street to sniff a Poodle's butt.”
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